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Now that i have sent the link of this blog to several people I feel the slight hinder of a sensed and invisible blockage of audience. Above is a shaft of light that seemed thick, very bright, coming into the station in a slant but not in a way that suggested falling or any directional vectored movement "towards" or "in" but slanting which implied source, joy, full physical impulsion, even while matter-less I was listening to the music in the link while the shaft thickened and narrowed again and the sequencing felt perfect, felt really good and w/ underbed of locational anticipation as well as sense of time as segmented by transit but (not really 'but' more of 'and', but am... Feeling stilted need for mechanics as i am typing) simultaneous and un-dreadful below or running concurrently in place beneath/w/ the clean (or not clean but free from fear of slight and permanent pollution) airy normal immediate mist of total presentness
It is always very easy with her, we spent a lot of time (while typing the word 'time' felt a strange synaptic access back and to the cranial left(?) of "time" not as the stringing invisible forward force it usually is and more as conditional to my room as a dim/warm/comfortable space, with things and furniture placed and rigged around me in a way i like, ceiling colored w/ a repeating period of the colored dots and circles which shoot up at it from my lamp in a massage of light [urge for context noted at its exact point in the sentence] massage of context, conversation as a fleshy spatter of matter between nodes (people), "time" demarcated by the door opening, "moving" around as also a sort of bounce-less hop from node to node (furniture). Time being this cubed series of actions and people and sensations within space, removed from sequence
So I guess more physical than temporal is what im saying. just remembered i have 1.5 edibles in my bag for tomorrow and felt the same agnostic comfort as felt when, no--did an almost instant test in my head equating the feeling of possessing substance on retainer vs possessing food and didnt feel they were same, seems untrue, not : / ::, 'grocery store' seems to conjure the grocery store from white noise instead of like....An average or median and smeared "grocery store" symbol formed from all the sensored products, layouts, format, colors, lights, smells, sounds, temporal and geographical contexts, of grocery stores i've been to before. when visualizing a grocery store it seems to be more of a 3rd person wide shot of the shelves slanting in in forced? perspective towards some hazy middle distance, unpeopled. feeling more grooved and unembarrassed in my private stream of mind now. Feels good typing. I feel good. Good seems to be, derived directly from the word, a soft, non-moralized, neutral pebble in the hand. i do know what love feels like.
ate/drank/digested monster white, breakfast wrap (2 slant-opened
halves to the left of the M), 1 and 3 on rice from Punjabi deli, plus
part of samosa, on long-suffering steps to left of said deli, 1 angry
orchard tall can, slice of papa johns cheese pizza w/ generous pour of
garlic oil, 1 pilsner small slim can, 4-5 wings --barbecue, essentia,
part of i believe 3-4 separate 40s today
B and B's Gaba to the left in my bed breathing! Good night!
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